Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
