my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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