Who did Billy Mays play for?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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