apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
