he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
