life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
