i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
