Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We talked him into tasing himself.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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