I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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