So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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