Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
