I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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