playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
