So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
BRING THE BAGELS
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
