A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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