I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
