im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
