I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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