mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
