She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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