If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
