First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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