The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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