her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
only you would photoshop your dick
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
