D3 body, D1 cock
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
