I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
