Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
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