I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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