Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
