Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
