Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
