no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
