I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
