I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize