This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
