I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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