so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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