You're my little dorito
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
