Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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