Rock
Scissors
Fuck
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
