Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
even my farts smell like vagina
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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