so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
