clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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