He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
