Im at strip club and am horny
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
