why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
honey bunches of taint.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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