im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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