dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
