you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
