I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
only you would photoshop your dick
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
