i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
you had me at cake vodka
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
